Nitpicky things I feel the need to yell about:

  • Umlauts change the vowel sound, even in the middle of words.
  • The letters ‘e’ and ‘i’, in any combination, are always pronounced as the second of the two. Never the first. Ever.
  • ‘ch’ doesn’t make a hard ‘k’ sound, like in ‘snack’. It’s a back of the throat sound.
  • ‘j’ is always pronounced as a ‘y’. Never as a j.
  • ‘w’ is always a ‘v’ sound. ‘v’ is always a breathy ‘f’ sound.
  • ‘eu’ is pronounced ‘oy’
  • ‘läuft’ is pronounced ‘loyft’, not ‘lauft’. Same principle as ‘eu’, only with ‘äu’ instead.

I know it’s terrible, and usually I’m not so picky. I’m just in a mood and feeling irritable and tired and weakish and…well, picky. God damnit. We’re in German 2. The language is spoken in the front of the mouth, except for some consonants. We should be able to at least produce a passing German accent, if not the real thing. It’s not like we haven’t been hearing it spoken for the past two years.